Rocky IV is a 1985 movie directed by and starring Sylvester Stallone, and starring Dolph Lundgren, Carl Weathers and Brigitte Nielsen.
I normally don’t bother with plot descriptions in my write ups, but because the plot of Rocky IV can be summed up in ten syllables I figured what the hell.
Apollo dies. Rocky avenges him.
This was my favourite of the Rocky movies when I was a kid. Watching it now, I can safely say it still is, but for very different reasons. When I was a kid the aforementioned revenge plot (which back then seemed a lot more complex to my sugar-addled young mind) and the David vs Goliath showdown between Rocky (Sylvester Stallone) and Ivan Drago (Dolph Lundgren) was thrilling. Now, it’s laughably over the top and all the more enjoyable because of it. As a kid, the subtle-as-a-sledgehammer Cold War allegory was completely lost on me. Now, it’s loads of fun to watch these actors try to make this moronic stuff seem sincere. As a kid, the incredibly cheesy moments between Stallone and his son gave me goose bumps. Now, they make me laugh so hard I nearly pass out.
What staggers me now is how oblivious I was as a kid to the homoeroticism in Rocky movies. It’s fantastic. After Drago pummels Apollo Creed to death we get a brilliant scene where Rocky drives his car (in the rain of course) and reminisces about his friendship with Creed. We are treated to a montage of scenes from the previous films of them sparring in the ring, frolicking in the surf wearing short shorts and dancing together in front of a mirror while so oiled up it’s a wonder they don’t slide across the floor.
And I love that the American/Commie references take a nose dive into absurdity more than once. My favourite is the requisite ‘training montage’ that Rocky movies are famous for. In this one, we see the Iron-Curtain himself, Dolph Lundgren training in a state of the art gym, aided by machines and steroids. Everything about his training is artificial and robotic, and thus FALSE YOU PINKO COMMIE BASTARDS. Whereas Rocky trains in the snowy wilderness, lifting massive tree trunks and slogging through the snow like a sled dog, because he is a REAL ALL AMERICAN MAN.
But what the hell is with comedic relief robots in 80’s films? I think people just got so excited about technology advancing they just wanted to stick robots in everything.
There's one strange moment at Paulie’s house when the robot interrupts Apollo telling Rocky that he's coming out of retirement. It sort of appears from nowhere, plays some music, chatters incessantly and then, hilariously, it disappears and the scene continues as if nothing has happened. This film doesn’t just throw reality out the window. It dropkicks it out and screams ‘Fuck off!’ after it.
And while we’re talking about reality or lack thereof, the climactic boxing matches in the Rocky movies are always hilariously ridiculous, but the one in this film outdoes all that came before it and nothing has topped it since. Not only does Drago basically use Rocky’s head like a speedbag, but a couple of times they actually seem to start doing wrestling moves. I love the over-emphasised punching sound effects too. It sounds like a guy smacking a wet bag of potatoes with a shovel.
And then of course to top it all off we get Rocky’s inspirational speech at the end. It really is tremendous. This writing launches so far into terrible that it comes full circle and becomes absolutely fucking brilliant. And just when you think it can’t possibly get any more ludicrous there’s a scene where the crowd slowly starts applauding and getting to their feet. Even the stalwart Russian leader guy who is basically Gorbachev without the birth mark seems to shed a tear. Jesus wept, either shoot me now or give me a US visa so I can emigrate. 100 minutes extremely well spent indeed.
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